In light of a disturbing article I read recently about the nasty rift between former American Idol Fantasia Barrino and her alleged lover’s (Antwaun Cook) wife Paula, I felt the need to address this with deeper thought…Why do women blame the other woman in an affair? Here we have two beautiful women arguing and fighting over a man who made the decision to be unfaithful to his wife and the beef is with the other woman? Where is the husband’s blame and responsibility?
Supposedly, there is an impending lawsuit against Fantasia by Paula for Alienation of Affection. Paula claims that Fantasia knew that Antwaun was married prior to their involvement.  I’m sorry Paula, but your husband knew that he was married prior to becoming involved with another woman.  So why isn’t he the one being sued for alienation of affection? If it weren’t for Fantasia’s celebrity, would there even be such a case for a lawsuit? This kind of issue is far from new, but it is very sad.  It is very unfortunate when a marriage and home are broken due to infidelity.  The pain is far greater if children are involved.  But as women we need to remain focused on accountabilty and who has it.  The “other woman” is just that, unimportant and should not be given more power or focus than she deserves in determining the fate of your relationship/marriage.  The only possible exception might be if the other woman were someone close to you like a best friend or a family member; in this type of situation they too would have broken your trust as well.
There is a valuable lesson in all of this; couples are accountable to one another and if the trust is broken then the breaker of the trust needs to be fully responsible for their own actions.  There is also a valuable lesson for the other woman as well.  Love yourself enough to be someone’s priority, NEVER their option.  This applies regardless of celebrity status.  If you take just a moment of consideration and look at the “bigger picture” and at all of what’s at stake then maybe you too just might save yourself from a lawsuit.

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