In light ofÂ aÂ disturbingÂ article I read recentlyÂ about the nasty rift betweenÂ former American Idol Fantasia Barrino and her alleged lover’s (Antwaun Cook)Â wife Paula, IÂ felt the need to addressÂ this with deeper thought…Why do women blame the other woman in an affair?Â Here weÂ have two beautiful women arguing and fightingÂ over aÂ manÂ who made the decision to be unfaithful to his wife and the beef is with the other woman? Where is the husband’s blame and responsibility?
Supposedly,Â there isÂ an impending lawsuit against Fantasia byÂ Paula for Alienation of Affection. PaulaÂ claims that Fantasia knew that Antwaun was married prior to their involvement.Â I’m sorry Paula, but your husband knew that he was marriedÂ prior to becoming involved withÂ another woman.Â SoÂ why isn’t he the one being sued for alienation of affection?Â If it weren’t for Fantasia’s celebrity, would there even beÂ suchÂ a case forÂ a lawsuit?Â This kind of issue is far from new, but it is very sad.Â It is veryÂ unfortunate when aÂ marriage andÂ homeÂ are broken due to infidelity.Â Â The pain isÂ far greater ifÂ children areÂ involved.Â ButÂ as women we need to remain focused on accountabilty and whoÂ has it. Â The “other woman”Â is just that, unimportantÂ and should not be givenÂ more power or focusÂ than sheÂ deserves in determiningÂ the fate ofÂ your relationship/marriage.Â Â The only possibleÂ exception might be if the other womanÂ were someone close to you like aÂ best friend or aÂ family member;Â in this type ofÂ situationÂ they tooÂ would haveÂ broken your trust as well.
There is a valuable lesson in all of this; couples are accountable to one another and if the trust is broken then the breaker of the trust needs toÂ beÂ fully responsible for their own actions.Â Â There is also aÂ valuable lesson for the otherÂ woman as well.Â Love yourself enough toÂ be someone’s priority,Â NEVER theirÂ option.Â This applies regardless of celebrity status.Â Â IfÂ you take just a moment of considerationÂ and look at theÂ “bigger picture” and atÂ all of what’s at stake then maybe you too justÂ mightÂ save yourself from a lawsuit.