By Nsi Amah
Hello Bronze Beauties! Dating out here is hard enough, because we are all picky in our own right. We have to pick the right guy, especially if we plan to possibly spend the rest of our lives with him. So, we have every right to be a bit choosy. Dating is tricky, but there are ways to detect red flags on your dates out with a new guy.
If he mentions his ex-girlfriend way too often during your date, then it’s obvious that he still thinks of her. It can be for many reasons – he may have not moved on entirely from his ex and still thinks of her fondly, or he may not have received the closure that he needed. If so that is fine, you will just have to tread with him lightly. It is best not to take him too seriously and continue dating other men. There is a high chance that he will have a hard time dating you if he is still thinking of the past.
Does he try to get to know you?
On the first date or two, see if he is really interested in you. He should want to know your favorite things, your hobbies, what you like to do, etc. It is good to talk about himself, but if he does that too much, then he is probably self-centered. It will be difficult for him to really get to know you if he is too into himself. When that happens, try to redirect the conversation as much as you can or if you are uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to cut the date short. Don’t allow him to make you feel bad; just simply tell him the truth. You can also tell him you are not feeling a connection with him.
Does he take the initiative?
Let the man be the man and see if he likes to take the first step on the first few dates. Let him plan each date and the activities. Let him call you and text you first; this shows that is he interested in spending time with you and getting to know you. Once this happens, then you can treat him every now and then to a drink or dinner. It’s okay for you to pay the bill sometimes. However, if he insists on treating you out most of the time, even when you pull out your wallet, let him. He wants to feel like he is treating his lady out, and that’s a good sign.
Make sure he gives you space
A possessive man is a toxic man. Make sure you maintain balance between spending time with him and having time to yourself. Maintaining your distance for a bit keeps the relationship healthy and gives him a chance to miss you. This includes refraining from texting him too often during the time that you don’t see him. It’s okay to call or text him occasionally to show interest, but there is no need to do so constantly. Keep yourself busy so that he knows he needs to earn time spent with you.
Boundaries are always important in any relationship. Throughout dating your new guy, make sure you set healthy boundaries. It is important to let him know what you are both comfortable and uncomfortable with. You have to be open about it and he should respect your boundaries as a person. You will know that he is a sweetheart if he understands and respects your boundaries without question. It is important to practice and remind him. Once you look out for all the red flags and express your wants and needs, you should be all right with your new guy.
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