by Angie G.
It’s been a long time coming, but I think that it’s safe to say that we have finally mastered the relationship game. After years of learning the game from magazine articles, books, seminars, close scrutiny of friends and family members, and through our own personal wins and losses, we have perfected all the strategies. We know the various types of players and we know which tactics to employ in every situation. We pride ourselves on knowing all the rules of the game, but often, we have proven ourselves to be some pretty weak players. And because we’ve taken so much time learning the rules and practicing strategies we have missed out on the most elementary part of the relationship game; we can’t win if we don’t really know how to play.
You see, the story that’s been told over and over again (or at least the story that we choose to believe) is that if we focus hard and master relationship strategies, we will automatically win the game. In fact, it seems as if we have come to think that mastering the game is THE essential element to having a successful relationship. And because of this, we tend to believe that the only thing keeping us from being a star player in the game of love is the unfortunate and pesky circumstance of not having someone to be on our team. We think that once we’ve found a teammate, our A game will show up and we will emerge as champions. And as much as we continue to look for tips and tools on how to improve our game, we have grown equally as vocal about how “sick and tired” we are of all the so-called relationship gurus who speak down to us and constantly tell us how we are getting the game all wrong. So what should we do?
It might be time for us to grow up and forget all the crap we think we know. It might be time for us to stop telling ourselves stories about how bright our stars would shine if we had the proper spotlight. It might be time for us to realize that there isn’t any more that we need to learn or know. Perhaps all we need is to allow ourselves to be coachable-not under the guidance of the newest hot author, blogger or relationship expert, but by trusting in our own ability to give and receive love.
Maybe we need a time-out. Not forever. Just long enough for us to realize that in the game of love, it isn’t about a strategy or a tactic. It isn’t about learning the rules and how to apply them. It’s all about heart and having the courage to make ourselves vulnerable. It’s about being bold enough to face another human being, stripped down, with no pretense and no “game.” Now, who’s ready to play?