Taking a closer look into Meg Thee Stallions Saturday Night Live Performance
The “Hot Girl”, “Tina Snow”, Megan Thee Stallion was on Saturday Night Live on October 15, 2022, and left the live crowd and viewers at home misty-eyed as she performed her hit song “Anxiety.” She beautifully wore a sash reading “Miss Anxiety” and boy, did Black Women across the world feel seen. Now, when you think about the musical rolodex Meg Thee Stallion has, she could have easily performed “Thot Shit,” “Body,” or “Plan B” and it would have been an equally amazing show and I don’t think any of us would have had one single complaint about the song choice.
However, the consciousness behind her deliberate decision to perform such a vulnerable, transparent, and powerful song in front of a large diverse audience does not fall on death ears of Black Women. If not Miss Anxiety, I am sure a “Miss Underpaid,” “Miss Overworked,” “Miss Overlooked,” “Miss Overwhelmed,” or a “Miss Insecure” is reading this right now. I think we all wanted to rush the stage and just give Megan the biggest hug when she began to get emotional, during a very real part of her song referencing her mother and grandmother.
All I could think is, WOW. It’s all hitting her right now, on stage, in front of hundreds of thousands of people and she is still powering and pushing through to deliver a heartfelt performance; what a testament not only to Megan’s resiliency but to Black Women’s resiliency. What I adore most about Megan is that she realizes this blessing that is her career, is about more than just her success. There is a divine connection and responsibility Megan has to freeing Black Women from harmful stereotypes that define us as “Angry” instead of Intentional, “Hyper Sexualized” instead of Body Confident, or “Bossy” instead of Passionate. I may ruffle some feathers by saying this, but the Black Community has failed to protect one of our own, when she cried out. I wouldn’t be surprised if Megan felt feelings of resentment towards us [black community] from the estranged support or lack thereof she received on numerous occasions when she spoke her truth. The Black Community was definitely split by the Tori Lanez and Megan Thee Stallion incident and regardless of the side of the coin your opinion falls on; Megan should have been able to confide in her own community with her truth and she unfortunately was met with ridicule, adversity, misogynoir, and even threats to her life and safety.
So often we see this pattern of encouraging Black Women to express themselves but quickly it is revealed this expression has to be within the parameters of what is considered to be acceptable for Black Women; alternative emotions are not welcomed. There is no space for Black Women to be tired, unequip, emotionless, angry, insecure, broken, quiet, without judgment. So, when Megan did verbalize her truth and it conflicted with people’s personal opinions, the “muzzle” went on, Black Women are forced into silence when their emotions spark too much controversy. Dare I be the one to say it, but a lot of times it seems if a Black Woman expressing her feelings requires holding a Black Man accountable for his actions and/or words, the Black Woman is blamed for even speaking up in the first place. So, what is the solution for Black Women, who often struggle to find pockets of safety & security in their own communities to express emotions and release trauma?
“The Soft Girl Era” is a new self-care trend that is widely spreading all over social media. It encourages Black Women to put down their oversized superhero cape, stop saving everyone, and enjoy the realities of putting your own needs first, without guilt. While I am not one for trends, I hope this one stays and manifests into an ongoing lifestyle for Black Women, an indefinite standard of living. I often think about how the “Soft Girl Era” for so many Black Women is similar, rooted in generational pain, relationship trauma, and self-shame; and recovering from this is not at all a “soft” process. However, grace and allowing ourselves as Black Women to not only extend it to the next women but embrace it ourselves softens the emotional blows healing inevitable causes. Which is why I truly commend Megan for publicizing that she needed to take a mental break, to regroup and focus on her mental and emotional health. Many of us [Black Women] were raised by our very own superheroes, our mothers did it all, and did it without help; they didn’t take “mental health” breaks” and I think Megan publicly stating she needs to take a step back enables other Black Women who might have never seen the strong women in their lives take a step back, reflect inwards and say, “I need to do the same.”
Megan reminded us on that stage that we deserve to give ourselves grace. Grace to grieve decisions we had to make in order to create a better life, grace to grieve plans we made with people in our lives that didn’t come to fruition, grace to grieve the growing pains of outgrowing our friends and the community that provided us comfort but also kept us stagnant, and grace to grieve not loving ourselves to make better decisions sooner.
Megan continues to show and publicly peel back the onion layers of Black Women in the most natural ways, and it unprecedentedly has contributed to her success and support from Black Women of all ages. When Black Women with large influence intentionally portray images of Black Women experiencing life, it normalizes us to the majority of white counterparts who have “learned” about Black Women and Black culture from disingenuous depictions on television and/or social media.
Black Women’s voices deserve to take up space in the places we inhabit. Black Women deserve to feel safe existing in our own right. Black Women deserve the right to express emotion without being condemned for it. Black Women deserve to be supported, listened to, and understood by the communities they pour into. Black Women just DESERVE!
To the Black Women who felt a cathartic release during Megan Thee Stallions Saturday Night Live performance, you are not alone. So many Black Women stand with you in this era of life that is beautiful, yet painful, lonely, yet filled with new uncomfortable experiences, reserved, yet more extroverted than ever. Black Women are reclaiming our abilities to be soft, and I love this for us.
If you are currently struggling with anxiety, depression, postpartum depression, or any mental health extremities Megan Thee Stallion launched a website platform to connect you with mental health services and providers called BadBitchesHaveBadDaysToo.com.
