Are You Friend or Foe to Your Development? (part 3)

In “The Lost Pearl,” part I of the pearl series, I discussed the need to rediscover worth and in part II “Cast Not Your Pearls Amongst Swine,” I talked about the need to understand how and with whom we should share the best of what we have with the people who come into our lives. I also discussed the need to compartmentalize and how to accurately define the roles each person plays in our lives- roles they play based upon the facts and the truths and not our own thoughts as to how people emulate our behavior. So now we look deeply into the pearl, paying close attention to its development. We pay close attention to all that goes into making the pearl in hopes that it may also be with us. There are some things about us that we cannot control- such as our skin tone, our sex, the color of our eyes, the shapes of our physique, our height, or the texture of our hair. I am sure you can look into other components of your life and identify other things that are inherited as part of your DNA. Then there are the things that we can control that help develop the pearl; the uniqueness about ourselves.

For example:

  • You can control every element of what goes into your body.
  • You can control your weight.
  • You can control your attitude and its development.
  • You can control who enters into your life and who remains in your life.
  • You can control what toxins you allow into your life that poison your system. Toxins are not just environmental elements or substances,  as they can take the form of words or people.
  • You can control the education you receive as well as its content.
  • You can control your spiritual growth and development.

The greater conversation is are you willing to control those elements and help develop “that” which is the essence of YOU?

There are plenty of events that have occurred to you in your lifetime, and you are feeding off of those life events. Events such as:

  • You never knew your father or he doesn’t love you, therefore you’ve decided that no man will ever love you.
  • You were raped or molested, therefore you’ve decided that no man will ever want you because you are tainted goods; even worse, you don’t want anything to do with any men because you don’t trust them.
  • You had an abortion and you haven’t been able to forgive yourself.
  • You have not been able to have children, therefore you’ve decided that you are half of a woman rather than whole.
  • You have been abused (physically, mentally or both) by all of the men you’ve dated;  so in order to protect yourself you’ve decided that you don’t want anything to do with men; even worse, you’ve decided there must be something wrong with you that causes men to abuse you.
  • You feel you’ve never been loved, therefore you’ve decided it must be because you are unlovable.
  • You’ve been hurt by Christians and/or you’ve been disillusioned from the churches you’ve attended, therefore you don’t want anything to do with Christian’s at all.
  • A loved one has died and you’re angry at God for allowing them to die. You are disillusioned by this God who is supposed to be so loving.

You can continue to add to this list of events that have happened to you over your lifetime and really begin to glean why your value has seemed to dissipate; in the process you will also see what power you have removed from your life that has shaped that timeless pearl. Unfortunately that timeless pearl has been shaped into a counterfeit, and not the real thing. You have allowed life to beat you down, to disillusion you, to confuse you, to hurt you, to discourage you, to steal your joy,  your dreams and your goals by failing to realize that none of these things in your life definitively define YOU!

Starting today you must decide that you are in control of your life. You must declare today that no one but God can define you. You must forgive yourself for anything that you’ve done that has harmed others or estranged you from God, and seek God’s favor in your life. You must embrace your life as one with great purpose, great promise, great joy, great reward, and great outcomes as you play an active role in its journey. You must look at the things that have happened to you, as hurtful as they might have been, and decide today that  you will no longer give anyone the power to hurt you, define you, or control you (except of course the Holy Spirit).

You must trust that God has a plan for your life that it is just for you. One of the hardest realities is that desire to understand why you had to live through the things you have. My comfort to you is that in God’s perfect plan He has allowed things to happen in all of our lives to develop us individually into the unique timeless pearls that we are. Never compare the areas in your life to others’ and rejoice in the fact that God has used your caring nature to love, mother, educate, encourage, and enlighten others. Do not allow the worlds ways to drive your expectations – let God’s promises guide your future. Stand up for yourself and you will stand up for others. Set standards in your life and others will follow. Know this without a doubt that if we delight in God He will give us the desires of our hearts. You must clearly understand what it means to be a delight. When you embrace that God is sovereign, that He is all knowing, that He truly has set forth the plans for our lives, that He is truly ordering our steps and we are deeply entrenched in His word (learning and loving on Him), then our desires are His desires and we will receive everything that He has ordained for us.

So I say to you today, say good bye to those who have hurt you and forgive them. It is by your forgiveness of them that you can move forward bountifully in the Lord. Refuse to intimately allow anyone in your world who does not want the best for you, guard your heart and your mind zealously and see life through the lenses of the Holy Scripture and take the stand that no weapon formed against you will prosper because you serve a God who has promised that He would fight your battles. You dearest are a timeless pearl, you truly are fearfully and wonderfully made. God knew and knows exactly what He’s doing regarding you. So remember, if you concern yourself with the things of God He will concern Himself with your things.

Tune in next week for the closing article “The Complete Strands of Pearls”.

Just Keeping It Real with Angela Harris

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