Are You A Relationship Junkie?

by Angie G.

black-couple-huggingWe all know at least one relationship junkie.  It may be us, or it may be one of our closest friends.  You know the type-their primary focus always seems to be on finding or staying in a relationship.  The serial monogamist who can’t stand being single.  Like addicts looking for their next fix, life just ain’t right unless there is someone around for them to call “mine.”  They breathe, eat, and sleep their relationships.  And the stories they tell at the beginning of each new love affair?  Dramatic, sweeping accounts of deeply intense emotions unlike anything they have ever experienced before.  Not ever.  They have finally found the one that they’ve been looking for.  Now, they are complete.

We can ignore the signs and pretend that everything is normal.   We can choose to be complicit in the delusion by nodding in agreement and watching them as they ride that relationship high.  That is until they crash, of course.  We can say that we are being supportive, but somehow, that just seems a little disingenuous and just flat out wrong.  When we choose to ignore the behavior, we fail to remind them of the truth- that things have gone slightly, if not totally awry for us when our happiness and feelings of self-worth are contingent upon our relationship status; that wanting a partner is quite different than needing one, and when that want becomes a need, it might be time to stop looking for a partner and ask ourselves what’s really missing.

New love is always exciting.  It serves as a reminder that we live in a world that provides endless opportunities to make a fresh start.  It is a sign of our resilience, faith, and belief in possibilities. But what doesn’t work for any of us is when we believe that another person is, or ever could be, the only source of our happiness.  If we find ourselves constantly on the hunt for a relationship, we might want to consider that maybe it isn’t really a new love that we are looking for.  We may just be trying to find a way to love ourselves.

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