I am sure that at some point in our lives, most of us women have felt a sense of loneliness because of the simple fact that we feel some men just cannot live up to our standards. I mean, look at us Black women- we’re bold, beautiful, intelligent, and not to mention, INDEPENDENT! Such strong characteristics often tend to intimidate men. This in no way goes against the men who are not intimidated by a strong woman, but let’s be honest…some men have so much pride that it ends up getting in the way of really being able to love a woman who knows what she wants. It bothers me that social media has become the soul foundation of what some of us millennials see as being “relationship goals.” What does that really mean? And what about “Netflix and Chill,” do we see this as an actual goal towards a relationship? Is a meme what we deem to be something we should strive for? Call me lame, but what ever happened to long phone conversations, as opposed to short text messages? What ever happened to telling a significant other exactly how you feel about them? Should we, as women, feel belittled if we don’t have a man? No. None of these things are ideal in this era. What some tend to only care about is how much they want to be the definition of “relationship goals,” rather than falling in love with someone’s intellect.
Let’s look at being single as a way to learn more about YOU. Oftentimes, some women in my generation feel that if a relationship looks publicly appealing, then that is good enough. As women, we should use the time of being single as an opportunity to grow mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Being in college, I am sure there were times when one felt like, “I give up. No one wants me because I’m simply just not good enough.” A person may reach a point in their life where they are tired of being with someone who does not really know their worth. More often than not, women of color tend to find comfort in praying about their troubles, or about things that are not working out in their favor. This is one of the beginning steps into how things started to come together for me. Of course, I understand that not everyone is spiritual, but talking to God helped me find my worth with not only relationships, but also with truly figuring out who is for me and who is against me. I was able to take a bad situation, turn it into a positive and not dwell on things that were not happening in my favor.
With that said, for the 2017 year we should strive to be better women and uplift one another. Men will always be around, but remember that the right one will find you. May we continue to empower our fellow sisters while we wait for our significant other. Our happiness should not only come from having a man by our side, but it should also come from the way we love ourselves. Living everyday life can be hard at times for a young woman, but along with creating and shaping a better you, better things will come. Don’t stop being fierce, independent, melanin Queens, because that defeats the purpose of holding such a powerful role as a Black woman. Self-love and self-care is vital to becoming a more phenomenal YOU. Keep smiling, and spread your love so that others may feel a sense of comfort when they’re in your presence.
Take care Bronze beauties!
By Keara George