Sisterhood is something that black women need to work on. It has always saddened me the way black women treat one another. Of course the root has always been ignorance, insecurity, jealousy, and envy. I have never understood how you can meet a female and the first thing she wants to do is play the comparison game. Of course when you play that game someone is bound to get their feelings hurt because there is always going to be someone who looks better, wears nicer clothes, has longer hair, prettier eyes, more college degrees, more ambition, and the list goes on. You lose out on building great friendships when you are always focused on what the other person has that you don’t. Why does it always have to be a competition?
Black women are already talked about in a negative light and it is portrayed in reality TV shows, the media, and other venues. Some of our men prefer to date everyone else other than us so that is why we need to network and build better friendships. We have been blessed with different talents and are unique in our own way. From our beautiful skin tones of mahogany to caramel and our curvaceous bodies, black women are the epitome of beauty. Jealousy and envy should not be a factor. Black women have always been strong and resilient because of the many obstacles that we encounter. We have to constantly prove ourselves to be worthy and do triple the amount of work that others do. We are not celebrated, often ignored, and criticized about everything.
I thank God every day that I do not possess a jealous demonic spirit. I believe that when you covet other people that blocks your blessings. I want everyone to achieve every goal that they have, live at the top of the food chain, be happy, and live a purpose filled life. If there is any way that I can assist anyone I will. I have encouraged and helped many sistas to obtain that college degree or fulfill a lifelong goal or dream. When you win, we all win. It paves a way for others and you can share your testimony that can inspire and help others.
Our young and impressionable black females emulate us so we have to be careful. If we fight, argue, and pull hair then they will too and think that it is acceptable. This is not the standard that we want to set for them. We want to show them that we can get along and sustain positive female friendships. We should start speaking to one another and not walk past each other rolling eyes or saying, “She thinks she is all that.” How do you know what she thinks? We have not been given the psychic ability to read other people’s minds.
So today start building positive relationships with other black women. Stop tearing each other down. If you can help someone, support them, or encourage them then do so. Please listen to my message my beautiful sistas. We are all that we have and can depend on when everyone else walks away from us. There is power in sisterhood.
by Dr. Shanessa Fenner